Monday, January 1, 2001

It's 3am and I can't sleep

I am having an OMG I can't believe I'm here moment and feel the need to let it all out. I'm sure it will pass. I'm sure I'll feel better.

I'm feeling whiny and ranty..........

It's hot and sticky and I feel like I always have too much clothes on.

Our house is different temperatures in each room.

Air conditioning is loud. Like the washer is constantly on and in your ear.

I tried to use the phone today and didn't know how. Yea, me no phone. I've only called Brian from the states and I knew I had to dial different numbers, I didn't know until later that you drop some numbers and add a 0. But if you call a home phone it's different. It's stupid and different and I didn't like the feeling of not knowing and not being able to figure it out on my own.

I felt claustrophobic today. I realized that the only place I could get to on my own is Carrefour. This is like only knowing how to go to Wal-mart where there are a million people that don't look like you and don't speak English as a first language.

I miss Haggen where I can find what I want and the people know me.

I was told that if you find what you want that you should grab it because who knows when they will have it again. Great. I live somewhere that is encouraging shopping, hoarding and anxiety. Awesome.

Did I mention that our home has a maids quarters? It's tiny, like 7x11. Some people have 2 or 3 living in that tiny space and it's normal. Things are different here.

Our plates are too big for the dishwasher. They aren't too big the dw is small and I was told that they don't think about these things because someone is usually there to wash them anyway. Whatever.

I was told the work is shoddy here. Things are slapped up and people don't have to be licensed and some just "figure it out". Awesome. Now I have to worry about getting electrocuted or something falling on my head.

We don't have an outlet in the bathroom. Yep, no plugs.

Did I mention the stairs! So. Many. Stairs. I suppose my butt will look good when I return. Granted I feel like I will slip down them or fall over the third floor balcony every time I look down.


I miss home. I miss my friends. I miss driving to Woods for an afternoon iced mocha frappe. It's the holy month of Ramadan and even if I could find a drive thru coffee place it would be closed in the daytime anyway since there is no eating or drinking during the daytime.

Did I mention that things happen on a different schedule here and it isn't mine? Our neighbors are still waiting for Internet and it's been five weeks. This is normal. It looks like Brian got lucky, thank God (or maybe Thank Allah here?)

My tummy hurts. Too many dates? Anxiety?

I have been here three days and I know it will get better. My feelings are normal but I want to feel settled, now.

It will be okay because it has to be. I'm here for the long haul.....

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