I suppose this kinda follows up with my last blog a little. I wish I could be one of those people that didn't let other people bother them. You know, the kind that don't care what other people think.
But....I am SO that person who cares what others think. I'm not sure if I would consider myself a people-pleaser, per se. But, I do want people to like me. (Does that make me a people-pleasee?) Or, at least, to explain to me why they don't like me.
It's hard for me when someone starts behaving differently towards me and clearly has an issue with me, but doesn't state why. Even when asked. It drives me nuts. I wish I could just let it go. But, I can't. So instead, I stew and wonder and stew and wonder and analyze and question and hypothesize reasons:
Did I say something to offend them?
Did I not include them in something they think they should've been included in?
Did one of my children do something to annoy them?
Do they not like how I parent?
Do they not like how I dress?
Do they not like how I talk?
Do they think I talk too much?
Do they not like what I talk about?
Do they think they're better than me?
Do I come across that I'm better than them?
Do they have a friend that doesn't like me so they decide that's reason enough?
Did they hear something about me that makes them not like me?
Do they not like my friends and therefore, not me?
Do they just not like me for no reason?
Can you say over-thinking? That's just a ramble off the top of my head too. I wish I didn't care. I wish when people suddenly started ignoring me or stopped talking to me as much or stopped inviting me to whatever or unfriended me on damn facebook that it didn't bother me. I wish I could let it roll of my back. But, I can't and I don't.
Why can't people just tell it like it is? Why can't they be upfront? When a question is asked, be a grown-up and be honest with your response.
Yes, I'm that insecure. It's pathetic.