Moving Right Along, Sorta

Brian had some more communication today with a variety of people regarding the Big Move.

• Talked to his boss - he wants him as soon as possible
• Is trying to get into a one-month-long class he needs to take in GA. It's offered in May. If he gets in, he'd miss Bella's First Communion (wish she is heartbroken over - but maybe he can fly home for that weekend). Also means he would leave shortly after so we would MAYBE all go together the weekend after the kids gets out of school (June 16th-ish) If he doesn't get in, he might leave as early as April!!
• They have now been given our kids names/ages and are starting on registration for school.
• They are starting to work on acquiring us a house/home.
• He will have a conversation on Monday with the guy who helps with Renting our House, Storing our stuff while we are gone, shipping our car and shipping our stuff.
• Found out the government will cover 30 days of temporary state-side housing if our stuff has to ship before we do or we rent before we leave.

More to come next week.

If Brian doesn't get in for this class, (which means we will move there and he will have to be flown back, leaving me alone for a month while he takes it at a later date so I'm REALLY hoping he does get into the May class) he will most likely go in April or Early May and then I'll stay until July or August and then go to NY for a week and then we would pay for him to fly from AD to NY to fly back with us.

I had a momentary-freak-out when I thought we could be gone in THREE IN A HALF MONTHS!!! Wow!! That's around the corner. I was talking with one of my friends about how my emotions are swaying from up to down on not just a daily basis but a several times a day basis and I'm constantly trying to analyze it to figure out why. I'm not worried about finding grocery stores and gyms and where to get my hair done or anything like that. I know I'll find people to hang out with (eventually) and find mommy & me groups for playdates and coffee. I know the kids will find friends (eventually) and they'll find activities to be involved in. I think part of me has that insecure feeling of being replaced here and so when I come back it will be hard to fit back in where I am now. So irrational and so silly, I know. But, still - it's one of those things at the pit of my stomach that rational thinking doesn't help to make go away.

I also think about what I'm going to be doing when I come back here and Cameron is ready to go off to Kindergarten and I have mass amounts of time on my hands. What if I do nothing for three years but have coffee hours and playdates and shop and then I come back here and have to do something. Brian told me that I don't have to go back to work when Cameron starts school unless I end up doing nothing but shopping all the time. I'm so fortunate to have a husband who values having a Stay at Home Mom in the house. Maybe I'll go back to school when I come back here or find a part time job during school hours or something.

I wonder if it's easier to just think about being here whether it's now or 3 years from now?

Am I going to move there and just do the same thing I do here with a different background? Shop, Eat, Drive kids places, do fun stuff, workout, playdates, coffee hours, etc... - my friend asked what I thought I should be doing and I really wasn't sure. I don't want to leave and come back and not feel I did enough while I was gone.

I'm in such an over-analytical place right now that I find myself spending too much time thinking about things, hence being over-analytical, right?

Argh!

So easy to get lost on the little things and miss out on the big picture sometimes, not that I'm sure what the big picture is. New adventures, new place. But what new adventure should I have while I'm there? It's like those choose your own adventure books or something where I'm making it up as I go along. Not my style and so it freaks me out a little.

I feel like I need to know what I want to accomplish in three years or something. Not sure why I feel that way and that's part of the problem.

Alright - this blog became a giant ramble. I'm ending that now.

Reality Keeps Smacking Me

Not sure if I want to sit in a puddle of tears or a puddle of wine.

Sigh.....what an incredibly long-feeling day. I can't believe I went from wait, wait, wait, wait for Brian's job to get us going and now I feel like rush, rush, rush, rush.

I took all three kids (on my own - because I somehow thought I can do anything and it will be fine) - to the doctor's office this morning. Alexander & Isabella were scheduled for physicals for our overseas journey.

My children are naturally filled with anxiety - NO idea where that comes from.......

So...for the last two days Isabella has been asking questions about the visit to the doctors and asking me to show her a MILLION times what getting your blood drawn feels like and how much is hurts or how little it hurts and how long it hurts for and EXACTLY what the doctor will be doing (which I told her that I had a GENERAL idea about and not an EXACT idea).

Alexander asked if he would get shots and I said probably not. He doesn't like "probably" because it means "possibly". So yesterday Brian explained that they would all need TB tests (which is like a shot where the doctor inserts a needle under the skin and creates a bubble with some fluid). So we dealt with 100 questions about THAT.

So....this morning was like the start of any morning. We got up - dressed, lunches packed, breakfast eaten and out the door as though it was for school. But, we (me and the kids) headed to the doctor's office for an 8:30 appointment.

It started with explanations at the front desk (yes I know it's been less than a year since their physicals, yes I know insurance won't cover it, yes it will be paid for, blah, blah, blah - just like I told the three different people I already talked to on the phone about this).

EVENTUALLY got into the doctor's office. We met with a new nurse for the new doctor we were going to see since I couldn't get in with their regular pediatrician until mid-April. It took about an hour to do paperwork. Ugh! I had files with me of things to be filled out. They were weighed, measured, asked questions of, poked and prodded.

The doctor came in and checked them all out and then found out that Alexander was due for a Chicken Pox booster. Hello waterworks from my son who is shot-phobic.

I was already dealing with a nervous Isabella who kept complaining of belly aches and was ready to throw up and was hiding in the bathroom across the hall because she didn't want any kind of shot and Cameron was a crazy child who acted like he snorted sugar before coming to the doctors office. He would run out the door and down the hall, he was flicking the lights on and off, he was ripping up the paper on the table, he threw his beloved motorcycle in the garbage which I later had to don gloves to retrieve and try my best to disinfect with hand sanitizer. He was throwing magazines.

Onto hour two and we were singing songs and trying to keep each other amused.

Ugh!

Alexander & Bella had to get their TB bubble pricks done. I held Bella down and she survived. Alexander begged to not have a shot but eventually did just fine with a quick prick in his arm and his TB prick was no problem.

We eventually finished up and headed to the lab for blood draws - yeah!

Alexander sat stoic and fine and was done in a jif.

Isabella had to be held down by me while she cried but was eventually taken care of.

Cameron freaked out and it took me and another nurse to hold my little monkey-tank down while another nurse drew his blood.

We were finally out of there by 10:45!! (over 2 hours)

I took them off to school and left with Cameron to run to a couple consignment stores to use up some credit, grab food from Trader Joe's (where Cameron rammed me poor ankle with those cute little, deadly shopping carts) and then back to school to pick up the kids.

Now it was time for our Passport appointment at 1:15. Brian met us there and I was exhausted! It took an hour for all five of us to get pictures done, fill out paperwork and get everything sealed up in an envelope for Brian to send to DC. Meanwhile - Cameron is running on chairs, scribbling on paper, flicking the lights on and off, running down the hall, marching down the hall & screaming down the hall. It was past naptime and we were both overdue.

Finally - DONE!

Time to get Alexander back to school for his Math Olympiad - after a quick stop at McDonald's because it turns out he only packed a handisnack cracker/cheese for his lunch! Ugh! So - nasty, chemical filled, protein nuggets for him along with a side of fries that will stay in his system for the rest of the month - but at least he had food.

Then it was off to Goodwill to drop off what the consignment store didn't take, a trip to the Car Wash, load up on $3.72/gallon gas (won't miss that in Abu Dhabi) and HOME!!!!

Cameron fell asleep in the car and slept for all of 40 minutes and now we are home until Alexander has a soccer game at 7:30 (which Brian is taking him to while I clean house for people coming over in the morning).

So - we go back on Saturday afternoon for the kids to have their TB spots checked, then I have my physical next Wednesday, Cameron has his physical next Wednesday, Brian has his next Friday. But that should be it for appointments, I think.

Whew!

Emotional Rollercoaster

This evening has been a bit of an Emotional Rollercoaster. In fact, I know the next few months will be like this. sigh

I had a Council Meeting tonight and part of the agenda was talk about whether or not to fill my vacancy when I leave...not that I'm getting pushed out or being asked to tell them an exact date but as soon as I could tell them an exact date would be great. In fact, I even had one person say the sooner the better because they thought that I would need time to prepare for my move. Ummmm - let me figure that on my own, K?

I think we spent 20 minutes discussing: If I should be replaced, how I should be replaced, when I should be replaced. It made me a little sad and a little powerful feeling all at once. Nothing happens until I resign. I don't know when I'll resign and only I get to decide when I will resign. But, still a little sad to know it's all part of the process of me leaving.

Then, I attended my monthly Heritage Society Meeting. During announcements, I mentioned that I was moving (several were already aware thanks to the newspaper article and KGMI radio bit) - but after the meeting I had several people come by and tell me that they would miss my "voice of reason" on there. (I swear that would've been my campaign slogan for my election this year - either that or "vote for me to help keep all those men in line"). Once again - made me feel sad, happy, grateful, humbled all at once.

Then, I headed home and checked my mail. A book arrived that I had ordered January 11th. It came from the UK and apparently took forever since someone swam it over or something. Well....I opened the package....and it made me cry.....



I'm really leaving here and this is my guide to my new home.

Reinvention

Have you ever wanted to reinvent yourself? I'm thinking that with a big move only a matter weeks away (not sure how many weeks exactly, but a matter of them) that it would be a good time to think about it.

The question is: How?

What do I want to change about how I am?

How do I want to be perceived?

If I could alter people's perception of me, how would I alter it?

Starting to ponder.......