Black & White

First a little background.....I have a fantastic group of girlfriends. There are actually 12 of us in all. We go away to a Girls Weekend each year and the last one was in March. As we were traveling back from our last Girls Weekend, a few of us stopped to do a little shopping. I was with one of the gals and was encouraging her to get a cute dress and she didn't see the need for it. She was going through a tough time with her husband and said she had nobody to go on a date with, why should she get a dress? I told her that I would go on a date with her! I encouraged her to get a really cute black & white dress and I picked one up and before I knew I I had grabbed a dress for another friend with us and mentioned it to a few more. Thus....Black & White Date Night was born. Here we are a few months later and that one friend has actually reconciled with her husband and they are off to a wonderful new beginning. Our Black & White Date night continued on in a much brighter mood than it had been started in.

It is very difficult to plan something for 12 people. It's hard to find a day that works, it's hard to find something that works for everyone. Needless to say, 7 of us made it for last night's event.

A few came to my house early to do make-up, borrow jewelry and do their hair and we headed down to meet the rest. We had quite a few people do double-takes or ask if we planned it or ask why were doing it. When it was explained that we did plan it, and it's just for fun they all thought it was a great idea.

We ate a restaurant called Fino's and the food was amazing, the view was amazing and the company was amazing. It was a nice restaurant and it looks right over Bellingham Bay. It was beautiful outside and we had a portion of the restaurant all to ourselves. When no one was talking, it was really, really quiet. Ahhhhh. We met for dinner at 6:00 and by the time I figured out our unsplit bill with the help of paper, a pencil and Nicole's calculator we were out of there around 8:30.

I had gotten a list of places that had live music in town and we spent the last part of dinner having some of the gals with the fancy phones looking up some of the groups online. We agreed on a group and headed to somewhere called The Acoustic Frog Cafe or something like that. There was a $10 cover and it was packed and standing room only. We opted to pass. At this point, one gal (Cindy) decided that her feet had enough and she was heading home. We were now down to 6.


I was driving a minivan and the back of my car has two captain seats. Apparently, one of the seats wasn't locked in place and everytime I took a turn, the person would go flying from one side to the other. The gals in back were having so much fun, that I wish I had just pulled over and asked to switch. I'm also pretty sure that the cars behind me were questioning my driving skills as I was screeching the corners and swerving.

We decided to just head to Bellingham Bar & Grill. They have really good drinks, it's not too loud and we could sit and talk which is one thing we all agree one and can never have enough of (drinking and talking). So....the six of us headed down for more visiting time. It was a lot of fun and silliness.

We wrapped up there around 11:30 and four more gals decided it was time to head home.

As for me...I knew the kids were asleep and Brian was asleep and this was a night I could be out later and no one would care. I committed to being the one to get up with the kids in the morning and that was okay.

So, Nicole and I headed out for dancing.

We parked outside of Rumors (our local gay bar - but even if you're not gay you can go there and dance and it's no big deal place). They were having a "foam party" - which I must admit I had never gone to, looked a little fun and a little scary. We skipped this (for now) and headed down the street.

We went to The Royal. I like the music and I like dancing there. Nicole grew up in this town and she runs into people she knows everywhere we go and of course ran into old friends there that showed off baby pics amidst the loud, pumping music and girls wearing thing that wouldn't of even worn in my more confident, skinnier days. It's a great place to people watch and I'm always amazed at the self-confidence or liquid courage of some of the people out there dancing.

By the time we left there it was about 12:45. We headed back to the car and had to pass by Rumors again. I glanced, no better stared at the people exiting. Some were covered head to toe in soapy foam. I thought it looked crazy, a little fun and I was a lot intrigued. Nicole saw an old friend and we took a picture with him outside of the club and then contemplated about going in or not going in and how late it was and how maybe we should head home but I kinda wanted to go in only for a second but maybe we shouldn't because we're not dressed appropriately for it, but maybe just a little. Yeah...this went on a while. Eventually...I paid the $10 cover for each of us and the guy at the front let us through (after commenting that it was the longest decision process he's ever seen). He wasn't with me at dinner...I guarantee that was a longer decision process. I take a while to commit to things, what can I say?

So....we entered in to a scene out of I don't know where. I'm pretty sure I looked like a deer caught in the headlights and I couldn't help it. There were people in bikinis, people in their bra and jeans, guys with no shirt on or people fully clothed. There were guys making out with other guys or girls making out with other girls or just everyone else dancing in gigantic mounds of foam and having a good time. I think I stuck to the wall and couldn't move for a good 5 minutes. Nicole had a few people ask her if I was okay. She convinced them I was. Then....I started making my way out into the craziness while mumbling....I'll be fine, I'm okay, this is no big deal, it's only soap, I'm okay, I'll be fine....I think I looked like a crazy person.

Then, some soapy person would bump into me and I would freeze and Nicole would have to hold my hand or touch my shoulder to make me okay.

I think I felt like people could be trapped under the huge amounts of soapy foam. What if someone was dead under there and you didn't know? What if someone drowned in the foam and no one has any idea and we're all just dancing away out here? What if the foam keeps rising and rising and rising and then it gets to me and I can't breathe and I suffocate in the foam, admidst half-naked people at a gay bar in Bellingham? That is not how I want to go. What if I get trampled under the foam and I can't get up? I was having serious panic issues. Nicole said she would look out for me and it would be okay.

She even asked if I wanted to leave, but I didn't. It was out of my comfort zone and I was okay with it. I wanted to be carefree and bouncing around in foam. Everyone looked like they were having so much fun. I wanted to get the stick out of my butt, relax and enjoy myself.

I would not drown in foam. There are bouncers watching everywhere and it would be fine.

The foam was soft and slippery on my legs and it felt nice once I got over the idea that I was taking a gigantic foamy bath with 200 people. I eventually relaxed and enjoyed it. It took a while for me to be okay, but I was. I had fun. I got foamy and I danced and I would totally do it again. They're probably having another one in July and I'm going to try to convince others from our group to go.....

How do you learn to not let people bother you?

I suppose this kinda follows up with my last blog a little. I wish I could be one of those people that didn't let other people bother them. You know, the kind that don't care what other people think.

But....I am SO that person who cares what others think. I'm not sure if I would consider myself a people-pleaser, per se. But, I do want people to like me. (Does that make me a people-pleasee?) Or, at least, to explain to me why they don't like me.

It's hard for me when someone starts behaving differently towards me and clearly has an issue with me, but doesn't state why. Even when asked. It drives me nuts. I wish I could just let it go. But, I can't. So instead, I stew and wonder and stew and wonder and analyze and question and hypothesize reasons:

Did I say something to offend them?
Did I not include them in something they think they should've been included in?
Did one of my children do something to annoy them?
Do they not like how I parent?
Do they not like how I dress?
Do they not like how I talk?
Do they think I talk too much?
Do they not like what I talk about?
Do they think they're better than me?
Do I come across that I'm better than them?
Do they have a friend that doesn't like me so they decide that's reason enough?
Did they hear something about me that makes them not like me?
Do they not like my friends and therefore, not me?
Do they just not like me for no reason?

Can you say over-thinking? That's just a ramble off the top of my head too. I wish I didn't care. I wish when people suddenly started ignoring me or stopped talking to me as much or stopped inviting me to whatever or unfriended me on damn facebook that it didn't bother me. I wish I could let it roll of my back. But, I can't and I don't.

Why can't people just tell it like it is? Why can't they be upfront? When a question is asked, be a grown-up and be honest with your response.

Yes, I'm that insecure. It's pathetic.

Why does life feel like High School?

Do you ever get that feeling that you've never really left High School?

I have these moments where I look around and realize that I'm still surrounded by cliques and people are still petty. It's the little things.

I was in the locker room at the gym the other day and there was no one there besides my friend and I. She was in the changing room and I was through the doorway, around the corner in the larger mirrored area finishing getting ready. We were having a yelling conversation - well not really yelling but talking way louder than I would if there were other people around. It didn't matter we were on our own. Then...these two women walk in (not even girls - probably in their early-30's women) and as they walked in, I was saying one last thing to my friend (really loudly, I admit). That was the end of me talking like that - there were now people in there and I wasn't going to broadcast my conversation around. Well...these two women walk past me and go around the corner and start yelling things to each other like...."can you hear me - am I loud enough for you?"...."wait - say that again I couldn't quite hear you"...."ha ha ha ha". I sat there thinking - seriously???? it's obvious they are making fun of me yelling to my friend. Do you really have nothing better to do than make fun of others for such petty things. It felt so high school. I wanted to yell back, "grow up" - but that wouldn't have solved anything. So...I continued on with what I was doing, perturbedly (yeah - I know it's not a word) and left.


I had someone tell me about this group of friends they have (all in their late 20's or early 30's) and something happened and she wasn't sure what it was that made some of the group behave weirdly with another part of the group. She confronted someone and they acted like they didn't know what she was talking about. "What?? Everything's fine." She decided it felt like "High School" with people acting one way to you and then not admitting problems and dealing with them like adults. I told her if she felt like that than she shouldn't be friends with the people anymore. Who has energy for that stuff, really? She stopped being friends with them.

Seriously though...when does eye-rolling, passive-aggressiveness and teasing stop? Apparently never. What does being "grown-up" mean when grown-ups act like this? There need to be more classes in High School about interpersonal relationships and communication - that would come in handy better in the real world.

It was lost and now it's found

It drives me crazy when things get misplaced. I will tear up my purse, my car, my house on a mission to find something.

Six weeks ago, we rented a movie - The Blind Side. I got it the day it came out - March 23rd. I watched it right away and put it aside for Alexander to watch the next day. When that day came, I couldn't find the movie. Anywhere. I tore up my purse, my car and my house and COULD NOT locate the dang movie. Luckily, we have a Powerplay system from Hollywood Video where we can rent three movies and have them out for as long as we want with no due dates or late fees. After we "misplaced" the movie - I upped it from two to three, figuring that after the movie was found we would change it back.

Life went on and the movie was not turning up.

I got to the point where I figured that there was a good chance that Cameron had thrown it in the garbage and I was going to have pay $50 to replace a lost movie or something. But, I was still holding out a little hope. I cleaned out my ENTIRE car, actually BOTH entire cars. No luck. I cleaned out under all the beds - No luck. I checked under the couches, in the ottoman and inside the bag of garbage that was recently placed outside - no luck. Argh!!!

So...time went on and still NO movie.

TODAY....I decided to stop at Hollywood Video and return my most recent movies - which mind you I never got around to finish watching since I go through movie watching spurts. I rented a bunch and thought the whole $43 a month plan to rent as many movies as we wanted with no due dates and late fees would be worth it. But....then a month goes by where I have the same two movies sitting by the tv. At least they weren't late. But, it's also not worth it to spend $43 to hold onto two movies for a month either. Well....the word is that Hollywood Videos are going out of business and I wanted to find out the status of my situation. I stopped by and inquired what it would cost to replace a movie if it didn't turn up and they said $16, but it would get reimbursed if I managed to find it with 8 weeks of the store closing (since corporate would continue to operate that much longer). I didn't have my wallet with me and didn't feel like heading to the car for it, so I figured I'd begrudgingly pay next time.

I get home and am checking my cell phone for messages when it slips out of my hand and goes sliding across the kitchen floor and under the freakin' oven.

I have to locate some kind of contraption from in my office to wedge under and sweep out my phone which I can no longer see because it's dark under there.

I manage to pull out:
4 Hot Wheels Cars
2 Fridge Magnet Letters
1 Thomas the Tank Train
1 Spoon
A random broken piece of plastic from something
2 Giant Plastic Jacks
1 Blind Side Movie

Clearly Cameron got into a mood of wheeling, throwing and shoving things under the oven one day and I now have a new place to add to my list of areas to tear up when I am looking for something.