Do you ever get that feeling that you've never really left High School?
I have these moments where I look around and realize that I'm still surrounded by cliques and people are still petty. It's the little things.
I was in the locker room at the gym the other day and there was no one there besides my friend and I. She was in the changing room and I was through the doorway, around the corner in the larger mirrored area finishing getting ready. We were having a yelling conversation - well not really yelling but talking way louder than I would if there were other people around. It didn't matter we were on our own. Then...these two women walk in (not even girls - probably in their early-30's women) and as they walked in, I was saying one last thing to my friend (really loudly, I admit). That was the end of me talking like that - there were now people in there and I wasn't going to broadcast my conversation around. Well...these two women walk past me and go around the corner and start yelling things to each other like...."can you hear me - am I loud enough for you?"...."wait - say that again I couldn't quite hear you"...."ha ha ha ha". I sat there thinking - seriously???? it's obvious they are making fun of me yelling to my friend. Do you really have nothing better to do than make fun of others for such petty things. It felt so high school. I wanted to yell back, "grow up" - but that wouldn't have solved anything. So...I continued on with what I was doing, perturbedly (yeah - I know it's not a word) and left.
I had someone tell me about this group of friends they have (all in their late 20's or early 30's) and something happened and she wasn't sure what it was that made some of the group behave weirdly with another part of the group. She confronted someone and they acted like they didn't know what she was talking about. "What?? Everything's fine." She decided it felt like "High School" with people acting one way to you and then not admitting problems and dealing with them like adults. I told her if she felt like that than she shouldn't be friends with the people anymore. Who has energy for that stuff, really? She stopped being friends with them.
Seriously though...when does eye-rolling, passive-aggressiveness and teasing stop? Apparently never. What does being "grown-up" mean when grown-ups act like this? There need to be more classes in High School about interpersonal relationships and communication - that would come in handy better in the real world.
2 comments:
I have three thoughts:
1) I read your blog. I like your thoughts that are "out there" (...and the down to earth ones, too--ha!)
2) Schools have no role in teaching about interpersonal relationships. There's so much too that topic that many families would hit the roof if schools tried to teach their children "values" and "morals." Families and parents should teach that, but unfortunately, many don't and think it's just something that comes naturally. It seems like cattiness comes more naturally.
3) That beign said, I had a psychology teacher in community college teach that people only insult and belittle other people if they are insecure about that in themselves. And, if someone is trying to insult or belittle you and it bothers you (as opposed to rolls off your back), then you're insecure about that in yourself. Makes sense and fits with what you said--you knew you were speaking loudly, and were self-conscious of it (that's why you stopped when they came in).
It would be nice though if more people could just let other people be. We are all different, and it just adds to the variety in life. makes it much more interesting.
That's a really good point about what bothers me are the insults people cast about things I'm insecure about in myself. Huh.
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