Brian had some more communication today with a variety of people regarding the Big Move.
• Talked to his boss - he wants him as soon as possible
• Is trying to get into a one-month-long class he needs to take in GA. It's offered in May. If he gets in, he'd miss Bella's First Communion (wish she is heartbroken over - but maybe he can fly home for that weekend). Also means he would leave shortly after so we would MAYBE all go together the weekend after the kids gets out of school (June 16th-ish) If he doesn't get in, he might leave as early as April!!
• They have now been given our kids names/ages and are starting on registration for school.
• They are starting to work on acquiring us a house/home.
• He will have a conversation on Monday with the guy who helps with Renting our House, Storing our stuff while we are gone, shipping our car and shipping our stuff.
• Found out the government will cover 30 days of temporary state-side housing if our stuff has to ship before we do or we rent before we leave.
More to come next week.
If Brian doesn't get in for this class, (which means we will move there and he will have to be flown back, leaving me alone for a month while he takes it at a later date so I'm REALLY hoping he does get into the May class) he will most likely go in April or Early May and then I'll stay until July or August and then go to NY for a week and then we would pay for him to fly from AD to NY to fly back with us.
I had a momentary-freak-out when I thought we could be gone in THREE IN A HALF MONTHS!!! Wow!! That's around the corner. I was talking with one of my friends about how my emotions are swaying from up to down on not just a daily basis but a several times a day basis and I'm constantly trying to analyze it to figure out why. I'm not worried about finding grocery stores and gyms and where to get my hair done or anything like that. I know I'll find people to hang out with (eventually) and find mommy & me groups for playdates and coffee. I know the kids will find friends (eventually) and they'll find activities to be involved in. I think part of me has that insecure feeling of being replaced here and so when I come back it will be hard to fit back in where I am now. So irrational and so silly, I know. But, still - it's one of those things at the pit of my stomach that rational thinking doesn't help to make go away.
I also think about what I'm going to be doing when I come back here and Cameron is ready to go off to Kindergarten and I have mass amounts of time on my hands. What if I do nothing for three years but have coffee hours and playdates and shop and then I come back here and have to do something. Brian told me that I don't have to go back to work when Cameron starts school unless I end up doing nothing but shopping all the time. I'm so fortunate to have a husband who values having a Stay at Home Mom in the house. Maybe I'll go back to school when I come back here or find a part time job during school hours or something.
I wonder if it's easier to just think about being here whether it's now or 3 years from now?
Am I going to move there and just do the same thing I do here with a different background? Shop, Eat, Drive kids places, do fun stuff, workout, playdates, coffee hours, etc... - my friend asked what I thought I should be doing and I really wasn't sure. I don't want to leave and come back and not feel I did enough while I was gone.
I'm in such an over-analytical place right now that I find myself spending too much time thinking about things, hence being over-analytical, right?
Argh!
So easy to get lost on the little things and miss out on the big picture sometimes, not that I'm sure what the big picture is. New adventures, new place. But what new adventure should I have while I'm there? It's like those choose your own adventure books or something where I'm making it up as I go along. Not my style and so it freaks me out a little.
I feel like I need to know what I want to accomplish in three years or something. Not sure why I feel that way and that's part of the problem.
Alright - this blog became a giant ramble. I'm ending that now.
1 comment:
Connie, change is stressful. I think God likes it when we live in the moment though. Not dwelling about the past or worrying or thinking too much about the future. I know that's not all together possible with all the planning, organizing and accomplishing you have to do in the next 3 months. I often have to remind myself to "turn it over." I turn my worry or problem or what ever it is consuming my mind over to God and say "Here it's yours. I know you don't want me to worry about so here it is." It helps me a lot.
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